Monday, December 26, 2016

Happy Holidays 2016 ... or not ...



It’s the end of 2016, Christmas has come and gone, and 2017 is only a few days away.  I generally tend to dislike this time of year.  Both of my parents have passed away from cancer and without the typical family Christmas something has always seemed “off.”  I don’t have any children for myself and although my husband has 3 beautiful kids they generally spend Christmas with their mothers family.  I remember waking up as a kid and running to the tree in the morning.  I would wake my parents up by jumping on their bed and dad would put his worn out robe on while mom would be in the kitchen making coffee.  When I was old enough and no longer lived at home I still came home for Christmas.  My nieces and nephew were always there, my brothers and their wives, Christmas meant family and laughter.  A few Christmas’s we even travelled to Tennessee to visit my mom’s side of the family and although we had your typical family arguments and drama, it was the holidays and all was okay.  As Christmas evolved into less presents and more family time together, I didn’t mind.  Presents are great and all but nothing beats sitting on the porch with my mom, talking about life, while dad is getting ready to go hunting and my nieces and nephews are playing with their toys.  It makes me sad in ways.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and my family who gets together on the holidays and am very blessed to have them but that little magic Christmas “spark” has been gone for a while.  My intention isn’t to bash Christmas or the Holiday’s.  I am absolutely sure that if I had a child of my own, or that my husbands children were here then things would be different.  I love hosting a home full of people, cooking large meals, and sipping on wine while people enjoy their time together.  It’s my way of making up for the empty house syndrome I sometimes get.  My point of this post isn’t to necessarily be depressing.  I definitely love life and make what I can out of it.  I have a wonderful support system filled with close family members and friends.  My point of this post is to share with others that you aren’t alone.  Many of my friends still have their parents, their own children, and their own Christmas traditions and I love seeing their pictures and posts online.  However, many of my friends I have seen struggle through these holidays.  They don’t have their family nearby, they live too far for travel, or they just recently lost some people in their lives that they loved.  My point of this post is to let you know that you are not alone.  It’s okay to feel sad when everyone else is feeling happy.  Yes, depression is a serious disease but just because you may feel like a Grinch at Christmas (I can relate) doesn’t mean you are depressed or need help.  It’s okay to be sad every now and then, it’s okay to be a little resentful, but once you get through these days get back on the grateful train.  Be grateful for the time surrounding the holidays and the remaining part of the year.  Love your fur babies and find small pleasures like watching Netflix and your choice of hot chocolate.  Begin your own silly traditions even if it’s only something small.  One day that small silly tradition may turn into  something your own family will begin doing.  I love you all, and know that as I sit here drinking my coffee while watching some Netflix and planning my day, I want to share with you that sometimes “adulting” also means being a little sad too, and that’s okay.

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